Why Yelling at Your Children Gets You Nowhere

child therapy in Eastchester e1549308920440

Why Yelling at Your Children Gets You Nowhere

Being a parent may be one of the hardest jobs that you ever face. You are responsible for bringing your children up the “right” way and providing them with as many opportunities as you possibly can. It’s a big task. And having moments of anger, disappointment and frustration with your child is a normal part of being a parent.  And the urge, at times, to lash out and yell is also a normal feeling, even for the best of parents.  But doing so is rarely helpful or productive, and, in fact, can be harmful to a child if this sort of parental behavior occurs repeatedly.

You want to set a good example for your children even when you are angry and need to convey your disapproval.  Punishing a child by screaming at him or her is not the answer. Yelling at your kids get you absolutely nowhere. In fact, it can end up causing psychological or emotional damage to your child, particularly if the yelling includes attacks on the child’s SELF (e.g. “You are a bad, disobedient boy….” or “are you stupid?”) Sometimes, we react based on pure emotion, but that is rarely the right way to handle a situation.  It may feel like an emotional release to let loose with a loud tirade, but that relief will be short lived and unproductive.   Below, we will discuss a few reasons why yelling at your kids gets you nowhere as a parent. If you are seeking family counseling in Westchester, NY, reach out to the Counseling Center today!

In households with instances of parents yelling, studies show that children have an increased chance of lower self-esteem and higher depression rates. It’s easy to understand why. Yelling increases anxiety and activates a child’s nervous system in ways that can often be difficult for the child to know how to manage.   Parents often resort to yelling because it is mistakenly seen as a way to hammer home a disciplinary point and to get a message across to children. The truth is, it is really not a productive way to deal with your problems and you will not get the results you want with your kids if you resort to yelling.

It’s much better to respectfully ask your children to stop the behaviors that you don’t like rather than yelling at them to listen. Not only will you have a better success rate with teaching them the right things to do, but you will also gain patience in the process.  It’s important NOT to critique the child’s character, but to critique the child’s behavior.  Also, remember to complement your children for doing the things you ask and try to focus on what you like about their behavior. Keep a strong grip on your emotions and remember that yelling will get you nowhere. If you need help learning how to better handle difficult interactions with your child, child therapy in Eastchester can be a great solution.