There are likely several reasons why you’re not finding couples counseling that helpful. There are also definitely a few things you might want to evaluate first before putting the “useless” label on your marriage therapy altogether.
Predisposition is a powerful thing. And if you’ve been bombarded by the many blog articles floating around the Internet claiming marriage counseling is nothing but a scam, you’ve probably already made up your mind about it.
The reality is that what those articles are saying couldn’t be further from the truth. First of all, you have to admit that things in your marriage are not perfect. And since something’s missing, it’s in your best interest to be willing to work on solving whatever issues you and your partner are having. You should also accept that there might be a chance you’re not always right.
Another reason why your couples counseling may not be working is because you’ve been working with the wrong therapist. Although the theories that apply to these issues is as accurate as it gets, experience plays a crucial role when it comes to couples therapy. So you might want to work with a therapist that has several years of experience on the specific issues with which you are struggling, who can offer you a better insight on what’s going on.
Readiness and commitment are also important. Both partners must be ready to embark on the journey of counselling and make the serious commitment of working towards common goals. There’s a massive need for willingness in order to accomplish goals.
Equally important is your willingness to put your pride aside, recognize your mistakes and try to solve them and improve your relationship.
Further, it is important that you address the actual issues that are taking a toll on your marriage. Unless you discuss what’s wrong and point out to what is bothering you about each other or the relationship, there’s no way your therapist can help you solve these problems. If there’s a place where you can safely express your feelings about the relationship, it’s your counselor’s office. Seize those opportunities and try to get to the bottom of every issue in order to fix them and heal together.
In short, before asking why is your marriage counselling not working, ask yourself if you are actually working on it and if you’re giving things enough of a chance to improve. Patience is key to solving these issues and it’s important that you put in the effort and the time to achieve your goals as a couple.
If you’re marriage is in trouble, give counselling a real chance, keeping in mind that you and your partner need to put in the work, the effort and the time to overcome whatever difficulties your relationship might be facing. Further, you have to be fully aware that these things can’t be solved overnight.
For more information on the Counseling Center’s couples counseling Yonkers services, call 914-793-3388 today.
