You're excited about your upcoming wedding and the big day is just weeks away, it's all you can think about. But here's the truth: no matter how beautiful your wedding is, it doesn't guarantee a successful marriage. Almost 50% of marriages end in divorce—it's nearly a 50/50 chance.
That's why premarital counseling is so important. It gives you and your couple valuable insight to build a strong, lasting marriage. In this guide, we’ll explain why premarital counseling is a key step before saying "I do" and how it can help create a solid foundation for your relationship.
Premarital counseling is a couples therapy specifically designed for couples planning to get married. During these sessions, a licensed therapist helps the couple talk about their relationship, set expectations for marriage, and work through any issues that might come up. The main goal is to give couples the skills they need to build a strong marriage and handle challenges that may come their way.
Premarital counseling is a great way to help you and your partner understand each other better. It highlights your strengths, weaknesses, and personalities, giving you insights on how to handle conflicts and challenges. While it won’t 100% guarantee a smooth marriage, it can definitely set you on the right path. A lot of couples found pre-marital counseling very helpful, though they still learned a lot along the way. So, while counseling is a good start, building a strong marriage is all about continuing to learn and grow together.
A lot of people spend so much time planning their wedding but hardly any time thinking about what it takes to stay married. Most of us walk into marriage with some pretty unrealistic expectations, often based on what we’ve seen or believed about love and relationships.
Maybe your parents weren’t super affectionate, or you grew up feeling like you had to please others to be loved.The reality is, that both of you probably have some habits or emotional baggage you don’t even realize. That’s why premarital counseling can be so helpful—it gives you a chance to work through all of this before you dive into married life.
In premarital counseling, couples will talk about different aspects of their relationship and their future together, including:
The goal of premarital counseling is to help you think carefully about your future together. It gives you a chance to tackle important and sometimes difficult topics before you get married.
Premarital counseling can help couples keep their relationship strong by showing them that relationships only work when both people are putting in effort. If you get comfortable and stop putting in the work, things fall apart. If you start focusing more on work or hobbies than your partner, it falls apart. And if you forget about the things that make a relationship last—like trust, communication, affection, and emotional connection—it all falls apart.Counseling teaches you how to build a strong foundation by creating emotional safety and being vulnerable with each other.
For your marriage to work, you need to make sure your partner feels safe enough to share their feelings and needs with you. This means talking about issues without getting passive-aggressive, blaming, or defensive.When your partner says they feel hurt or neglected, it’s not them rejecting you; it’s them giving you important information. It’s a chance for both of you to grow together. If you care about the relationship, you’ll care about how your partner feels—this is what premarital counseling helps you understand.
Participating in premarital counseling offers several benefits, including:
Premarital counseling is like setting the foundation for great communication in your marriage. Think about it: in a relationship, communication is key. During counseling, you’ll practice skills like saying, “I see how you feel, but this is how I saw it.” It teaches you how to express your thoughts and feelings without dismissing your partner’s perspective.
By learning to acknowledge each other’s emotions, even when you don’t fully agree, you avoid turning small disagreements into big arguments. And that’s what premarital counseling helps with—getting ahead of those tricky conversations, so that when conflicts do pop up, you’re ready. It’s about creating a space where both of you feel heard, respected, and understood, which leads to a stronger, healthier marriage in the long run.
Every relationship will face challenges—whether it’s about money, family, or future plans—but discussing these topics in advance can help you avoid bigger issues later. Premarital counseling brings these tough subjects to the surface, giving you and your partner a chance to talk through them with guidance.
Think of it like getting a map before a road trip. You want to know what tricky spots could be ahead, so you’re not blindsided when you hit them. Premarital counseling helps identify where the bumps might be in your relationship and equips you with the tools to handle them. By tackling these potential conflicts now, you can build a stronger, more prepared partnership for the future.
Your family background plays a huge role in shaping your views on marriage, even if you don’t realize it. How you were raised—what you saw and experienced in your own family—affects everything from how you communicate to how you handle conflict. In premarital counseling, you’ll explore how both you and your partner’s family backgrounds could impact your relationship.
Maybe you grew up in a household where emotions were kept inside, while your partner’s family encouraged open discussions. These differences can create tension if not understood. Premarital counseling helps you recognize these influences and how they might show up in your marriage. It’s all about learning where you’re both coming from and figuring out how to blend those experiences into a healthy, balanced partnership. Understanding your family dynamics early on will make your marriage stronger in the long run.
Marriage is full of emotional highs and lows, and being ready for those challenges can make all the difference. Premarital counseling helps you and your partner prepare for the emotional rollercoaster that comes with building a life together. Whether it’s navigating stress, changes in your relationship dynamics, or even personal growth, knowing how to manage these emotions as a team is crucial.In counseling, you’ll talk through potential emotional challenges—like how to handle feelings of frustration or loneliness that may pop up in any long-term relationship.
By getting ahead of these tough emotions, you’ll both be better equipped to support each other, communicate openly, and stay connected through life’s ups and downs. It's all about building emotional resilience together, so when challenges arise, you know how to tackle them without letting them pull you apart.
Trust and intimacy are the cornerstones of any healthy marriage. But they don’t just happen overnight—they require effort, vulnerability, and consistency. Premarital counseling helps you and your partner start building that foundation before you even say “I do.” You’ll learn how to foster trust by being open and honest with each other and how to nurture intimacy by truly understanding each other's emotional and physical needs.
Couples who invest in premarital counseling tend to experience stronger communication, deeper emotional connections, and fewer conflicts down the road. Why? Because you’re addressing potential issues before they turn into major problems and learning practical tools for handling challenges together.
The skills you develop during these sessions—like active listening, empathy, and conflict-resolution—don’t just help in the early years of marriage; they stick with you for the long haul. By building a strong foundation now, you’re investing in a relationship that can grow, evolve, and thrive through all of life’s ups and downs. Premarital counseling is like a roadmap for your journey together, giving you the tools to navigate married life with confidence and joy.
Premarital counseling is a fantastic way for couples to build a strong and lasting marriage. It helps you tackle important issues like communication, conflict resolution, finances, and intimacy, setting you up for a smoother journey together. Whether it's your first marriage or a new start, premarital counseling gives you the tools for success.
The Counseling Center is here to support you and your partner to start your journey together on a solid foundation. We’re here to help you every step of the way, contact us to schedule your counseling session!
The first few years of marriage can be challenging as couples adjust to living together and navigating new roles. Additionally, major life changes like having children or dealing with financial stress often make the early and middle years of marriage more difficult.
Marital counseling helps couples address issues and improve their relationship, while premarital counseling prepares engaged couples for marriage by discussing important topics like communication, finances, and conflict resolution. Both aim to strengthen the relationship and build long-term success.
A marriage may be difficult to save when there is an ongoing lack of trust, emotional or physical abuse, or an unwillingness by one or both partners to work on the relationship. However, counseling can help determine whether reconciliation is possible.
Some challenges of premarital counseling include facing uncomfortable topics, dealing with differing opinions, and confronting personal fears about the future. However, these discussions ultimately help strengthen the relationship by addressing issues before they become bigger problems.
The Counseling Center is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization. All donations are tax-deductible to the extent allowed by law.