On a recent four-day weekend this Fall, I joined in the Colorado mountains with 6 other men whom I had originally met through a week-long intensive workshop, and had been meeting with every other week for almost 5 years on Zoom. We had all gotten quite close over the years, though many of us had never met in person. This trip was a self-prescribed opportunity for going deeper into connecting, and enhancing the community among us. Admittedly, we were from quite diverse backgrounds regarding where we lived, our earnings, our beliefs, our relationship status and whether we had kids—nevertheless, the bonds held fast.
As we hiked the challenging terrain, shared meals together and completed numerous exercises to enhance our own centeredness, vulnerability, and openness to one another, it became clear how much care, love and emotional intimacy had been forged, and was ever-growing and evolving.
The trust was palpable as we went from merely supporting, to challenging one another around patterns and blindspots, to building new pathways to view and handle each other’s circumstances.
CONNECTING, COMMUNITY, COLLABORATION, are all hallmarks of what many yearn for, and especially men who oftentimes revert to work, sports, politics, cars, etc. as a way to connect. These can be easy topics of commonality, but can leave space, gaps, emptiness, as well, when consistently staying on a surface level.
For men, being seen and emotionally felt by another in honesty, caring and love is, in my opinion, the antidote to loneliness. Allowing oneself to seek and find such deep connection, especially in times of technological silos, and emotional isolation, is a much needed salve.
