Therapy is a serious business generally, but that does not mean it has to be without humor. As a therapist becomes more skilled, more seasoned, and more instinctively attuned, they begin to learn when the injection of humor can be appropriate, and when it can even enhance the impact of therapy. Of course, it has to be natural, and one has to get to know who will take kindly to it, and who will not. But humor can often reduce anxiety, create a closer bond between therapist and client, and even make a more empathic connection that lets the client know the therapist understands what he or she is going through.
The utilization of humor is not simply feeling a joke and getting the client to loosen up, but is adeptly integrated and can even become a part of the interpretive structure. I once had a young man in treatment who used one of our sessions to try to convince me that the world seemed to be against him. From his point of view, his girlfriend was critical, his boss hated him, and he could never catch a break for anything. It seemed the whole world was telling him he was doomed. As the session progressed, it gradually became funny for both of us, and he could actually see the humor in his overwrought stance. So at the end of the session on the way out the door he said, “see you next week”, and after a short pause, | shook his hand and said, “Lord willing!” We laughed!
To do this well, the therapist has to be deeply attuned to the patient and his/her needs. It also requires a sense of irony—because many of the situations we get ourselves into are deeply ironic if we can just step back and see it with objectivity. Getting distance from our complexes and neuroses is one of the most healing things we can do for others, and for ourselves. Perspective with a longer lens, with a splash of humor, often takes the heaviness out of the situation, takes away our defensiveness, and lets us laugh at ourselves in a healthy way.
