Change is hard – no doubt about it! It is often considerably easier in relationships to see how we’d like others to change, than to authentically acknowledge how we could shift, or rethink our own roles in patterns that hold us back. Some change is foisted upon us and makes us unbearably sad, like the death of loved ones. Some change is foisted upon us because people we love need to grow, and their lives take them further away, like a child launching to college. Difficult change is often decided by others, like the loss of a job. And some change is just part of the aging process, which is also sometimes hard to accept!
Questions we can ask ourselves as we ponder change are:
- What kind of change can I make that will benefit the people I love?
- What kind of change can I make that will benefit myself?
- If I let go of something or someone in my life whom l’ve loved, what am I most afraid of losing?
- If I let go of something or someone in my life that does harm to me, what am I most afraid of losing–what will I be sacrificing?
- The things I may lose in a shift or a change, could I make it up in some other way?
- What power might I lose if I give up my authority over someone or something else?
- What power might I gain if I step forward into discomfort or risk?
- Can I seek guidance, help, expertise or education around changes I am making or adjusting to?
