Everyone has fears, be they existential, imaginary, social, or other. When we allow our greatest fears to consume our thoughts, conducting a healthy life becomes significantly more challenging. Defense mechanisms are what we use to protect ourselves from the many anxieties of life. In many respects, they are absolutely necessary for health living. However, when it comes to relationships, in which people tap into their deeper emotions, the defense mechanisms that assist them in navigating the outside world can sometimes prove to be counterproductive. If you have concerns that your defense mechanisms are getting in the way of your relationship, The Counseling Center’s couples and marriage counseling Eastchester services can help.
Projection
Projection is when you are either consciously or subconsciously aware of the aspects of yourself that you don’t like but you find yourself blaming others for your flaws. For example, if you tend not to always be great about washing your dishes and then blame your partner for being messy, you’re projecting. While extremely common, this can be a difficult reality to accept. Inherently, it always leads to the person’s partner calling the accuser a hypocrite. With more self awareness, you can avoid the pitfalls of projection.
Denial
Pretending something that possibly put your relationship on the line never happened will not lead to a stronger bond with your spouse or significant other. Every relationship has its problems. The fact that you and your partner love one another enough to want to endure those challenges can be something that helps bind you more tightly together. Alternatively, if you each try to repress the reality that you both know is present, you both run the risk of allowing that denial to destroy each other’s trust. In other words, don’t close your eyes. You’ll both be better off sitting down and trying to fix the issues at hand.
Compensation
Self-medicating with drugs or alcohol instead of confronting the challenges of life head on is a form of compensation. It’s natural when life makes you feel bad to want to look for something that will make you feel better. But it’s important to recognize that resorting to substance abuse is only a very short-lived temporary solution. Afterward, the thing that made you resort to drugs or alcohol will still be there the next day. The sooner you take the time to work and make it better, the sooner you’ll have the tools you need for emotional health and stability.
For more information about The Counseling Center’s couples and marriage counseling Eastchester services, give us a call at (914) 793-3388.
