Anyone who’s partaken in a long-term relationship can attest to the fundamental differences between courtship and commitment. During courtship, both parties are likely to go the extra mile. People tend to consciously set aside focus on aspects of their counterparts that they don’t particularly like in the beginning. At some point, this all changes. Research shows that for virtually all couples, the ability to ignore these aspects becomes increasingly difficult. How both parties navigate this phase can define the future of their relationship. If you’re experiencing similar issues, marriage counseling Eastchester services can help.
Therapists refer to this phase of a relationship as the power struggle. However, in reality, it’s not so much about power. The pursuit of power would entail one partner attempting to impose control onto the other. This would be to the extent that the other must be submissive to his or her demands. Instead, the power struggle in a relationship is not so much about control as much as it’s usually about both sides simply trying to change the other to make him or her more compatible. On the surface this may feel like a struggle for control. But it’s really just the pursuit of achieving a higher level of comfort with one’s partner. Recognizing this is crucial to establishing healthy communication.
We all come from different places. Our backgrounds have fundamental impacts on our outlooks and behavior. Sooner or later, everyone reveals how they really are. When you notice aspects of your partner’s values that don’t align with yours, it’s natural. These emotions often lead to tension, as you begin to question the relationship in ways you’d overlooked in the past. In the event that your partner displays actions, behavior, values, etc. that don’t align with those that your parents had taught to you, you may feel the instinctual obligation to distance yourself from him or her. The fastest way of doing so is through criticism or the silent treatment. This is often the underlying factor to arguments between couples.
Empathy can be a wonderful thing. The sooner you recognize that your perspective isn’t the only one that’s valid, the sooner your relationship will improve. By taking some time to place your feet in your partner’s shoes, you’ll become more effective in meeting them halfway. With this level of mindfulness both parties will be able to navigate each other’s differences far more effectively.