Even if you’re getting out of a terrible relationship, dealing with the effects of divorce is still devastating. The stages of recovery are very similar to those of grief. Being emotionally aware of each stage will help you get through this difficult time. For professional help, get in touch with psychotherapy Westchester NY services to speak to a licensed professional.
Pretending like the problems didn’t exist is entering the world of denial. It’s a way for our subconscious to emotionally protect us. Although denial is a useful coping mechanism in the short term, it doesn’t benefit us in the long run. Eventually, you will need to face reality.
The initial pain that comes with divorce is inevitable. But, once you get past the pain, being angry about your situation is completely normal. And even if the anger is justified, for example, if your spouse cheated on you, it doesn’t mean that staying angry is not destructive. Controlling your anger is key. Channeling it toward the healing process is the best way to deal with the anger.
This is the stage where you desperately try anything to repair the damage in your life because of the divorce. Bargaining is when you feel you can’t emotionally handle the situation. People will often say to themselves, “I’ll do anything to go back in time and change the situation.” Bargaining for a different outcome is a last attempt at coming to terms with the decision to get a divorce. Any attempts at reconciliation will likely end with the realization that the divorce was an option for a reason.
Feelings of deep sadness can display themselves in physical ways. You may experience loss of appetite, overeating, sleep disturbances, and irritability. Depression is deeper than sadness, and it’s normal to feel like you don’t want to get out of bed. Grieving the loss of your marriage is part of the process of divorce. It’s when this behavior and mental state of being continue for a prolonged period of time that it becomes problematic.
Realizing it’s time to live in the present is the first step in accepting the divorce. You got through the grieving stages, and it’s now time to recognize that the past is the past. Coming to terms with the situation is something that will happen internally. Nobody but ourselves can bring on this realization.
Stick with friends who are positive influences in your life. Keep the ones who are willing to support you and be there for you when you need to express your emotions. Be wary that some of your married friends may feel uncomfortable with you because of your situation. Perhaps they’ll feel like your divorce is a threat to their own marriages, which is really just insecurity on their end. Find the friends who will give you a shoulder to lean on.
Ending a marriage is never going to be easy. But knowing how to emotionally deal will make the process of moving on a little bit easier. Counseling can help you cope with the pain you are dealing with from the divorce. Our licensed professionals with psychotherapy Westchester NY services can help you begin to heal. Call us at the Counseling Center today to schedule an appointment at (914) 793-3388.